The Thought

...and here it began!





 Our baby boy was very much a "wanted" baby. He was planned and thought out. Maybe not so much thouroughly thought out :P because my husband, Jake had to leave for 5 months. He is in the CG and was to fly out Oct 5 or so to MS. Needless to say I WILL NOT be pregnant alone ever again :)

  Little did we know, and "much" did we try ;) we planted a little seed in August 2009 haha The baby i wanted for so long. The little person I knew belonged more than anything in this fresh family.They were very real and on their way to us.
  We were (and still are) young when we married and then turned right around to have a baby. Only one thing was certain to us though...the bar hopping and partying was getting old. We found ourselves staying home, watching t.v., going to the zoo... :P We found ourselves talking about it, we saw into the future and it felt ..."right." We wanted to start a family.

 Our journey through this pregnancy was not how we thought it would go. He was on the other side of the country. I was still in the CG and pretty much alone. I had one friend i got along with and that cared for me. In a new place and a new job i found myself back at square one. A very familar feeling. I looked to the baby to get me through, I looked to God to give me strength. And that I received. I made it through the 5 months with a quick visit to MS in Nov, for our first Anniversary :) and a sweet visit from my Mom and sister Jessica in Feb for my Birthday. It was not that bad...so i say now. But at the time i cried most nights, was lonely, had no cable, was bored...and come on...who wants to go through this experience alone!? No one!! It sucked! So...yea it was pretty bad! :P

As bad as i thought it was...I remembered often that i had my little crumb crumb growing inside of me. He/she was developing lungs, fingernails, hair, little toesies and hands. I was just blown away at the thought and instantly i was better. There were days i was unhappy with my job in the CG i felt useless and i really didnt like the line of work. I felt out of place despite being pregnant. Another thing became clear to me, i wanted a different job. Boatswainsmate was not me. Ever since i met Jake, like i said, my dreams changed. My motives changed. So i researched my options, and talking to my current chain of command i found out really fast that i would (only fair) be missing out on a lot of my baby. I would be missing little things and if/when my husband was u/w i would then become a single parent. :O I then was hopeless. At the beginning of my pregnancy already stressing, I had to calm myself down. I didnt want to lose my baby. These fears were dwindling and I then was pissed at the CG. I did my job for almost 4 years and thats just how it works. That is the military. No changing it. Following that hard hit at a dead end i had to make the decision i did not want to resort to. I made the decision to temporarily separate from the CG to care for my newborn. I was happy with the decision in the end and was able to concentrate on the baby and I. :)

The year 2010 came quickly, I then found myself "bigger" and had "bigger" jobs on my hands. It was time I get off my butt and get moving. Literally. I had a single cab truck and a small one BR apartment...UMMM NO room for a little one. I had to buy a car (real fast) and find a reasonable apartment for the 3 of us to live in off of one BAH. :/ My mind was fried and i was exhausted! I had to change Dr.s and obviously hospitals. :/ But that went smoothly. Luckily through prayer and faith I found an amazing apartment and fuel efficient car for the 3 of us. :D :D I was SO happy when all that was over. I had people help me move and my Mom and sister were there as well. I was blessed from heaven above! I did it! Jake came home to a 30 week pregnant wife in a new home and new car. There the count down started for me. Long uncomfortable nights, uncertainty on when the little man was arriving. Oh yea its a boy by the way! :) From Wesley to Drake to Wyatt... we decided that Wyatt Dane Wilson was the name. His room would be Jungle theme!  And he would be loved! :) We would sit in his room day dreaming of his face, how the first nights would be, how he would change our marriage, how good of parents would we be...on and on we did this. Meanwhile we had Jakes parents come out to visit, to see the birth of lil man. Still no baby! :( I tried everything they say to get that baby out of there. From walking, to spicy foods, to sex, back to walking and ball exercises I was fearing that this little man may be induced. I made it through though. I was induced Tuesday morning April 13th. We arrived at 7am and i was put on pitocin and then around 945am my water

was broken and I dilated to 3cm by 11am and was given an epidual at 12pm due to the anesthesiologist being in back to back c sections for the afternoon. :/ I was not happy about my epidural experience. It worked just fine but I dilated slowly of couse and lost it towards the end. :/ My knee started aching and my whole right leg was numbed, I could not even move it. I had to lay on my right side due to the umbilical cord being in a spot were if i were to lay on my left side, the babies heart rate would drop. :( So from 12pm to 11pm I just laid there! Bleh! I was ready to move and get the process going! Next thing i know my Dr.,  Dr. Kimberly Filmore was in the room telling me to do a practice push and then i was pushing! I pushed from 1141pm for 140am!! I was exhausted but ...our beautiful baby boy was born into this world! :) He was gorgeous!

It was love at first sight! This little baby stole my heart the moment they laid him on me. He was 9lbs12oz. :O BIG BOY! 20 3/4in

He was finally with us! Our family was not complete just yet but the steps have been taken in that direction. Our first born will hold a special place in our hearts. He was given to us by God, created and carefully put together. Each strand of hair slowly thought out and every fingerprint thoughtfully engraved. Our son was just a thought 10 months ago...now he is real...from a thought to a blessing. We love you Wyatt!